Saturday, December 17, 2016

Towards the end of 2016

So... it is now towards the end of 2016
a new year is going to start soon

and, i haven't proceed much.
I think i am now in the stage of finding a fixed direction to move on
like the melting stage of an ice cube...
the red and green shades as shown: -static condition/plateau stage












sorry if someone is actually looking for chemistry stuff here.
I am not teaching chemistry now...sorry if google brought u here.

Go back to my topic...

I graduated with a master degree, in the field of biochemistry and molecular biology
specific interest in human cancer, protein kinases, cell signalling and stuff like that.
From my master degree i develop interest in mass spectrometry too

But, unfortunately I couldn't get much of related job in Kuching, Malaysia right now
Mostly related to food science and pharmacy...or promoters (sales).
I'd applied to Sarawak Biodiversity Centre, the only institute i am really very interested in
cuz they are the only one i found to have good mass spec facilities....
But...*sigh*...I guess i was removed from the list. Not even in the waiting list.
No idea what happened.
They posted vacancies in end of November and it was like
MY PERFECT DREAM JOB in KUCHING.
most of the required job tasks are related to my background except i never deal with plants.
Maybe that's a big concern for them so they kicked me out of the list.
so...in the end I am kinda like jobless, still.

I actually got invited for an interview wanted to hire me to do food production stuff
and do food quality control and more...
which I have no idea at all.
I think it is not very wise to jump in the post with
them hoping me to know how to operate stuff just bcuz i have a master degree.
Nope. So, i rejected.

I think I am actually a workaholic...?
I feel very useless when i am not doing anything, like studying or working

So, rather than letting myself to wait for lab vacancies, I still stick to being a tutor.
Giving all kinds of tuition i can.
Previously i mentioned that I am teaching Biology (form 4, form 5, Malaysia syllabus)
Now I am teaching Maths and Add Maths (form 1-5) too
Later, I might consider teaching form 6 Biology provided there's request.
form 6 Biology is quite similar to Biochemistry subjects,
except they have chapters related to ecosystem which i'm pretty bad in...Anyway~

Everything is proceeding very little
If u're looking at the big picture, i might seem not moving at all
i hate this feeling
but i know this is the progress.
Many people are like me out there......(trying to comfort myself)
even the elders keep saying nowadays is pretty hard and unfair to the young ones

i know right??? what to do??? (say it with Malaysian accent)

I believe everyone will find a way to survive through
I just hope I can turn my head back someday to see how far I'd travelled
and feel grateful to be successful and having the life i crave for
and I hope my success in the future can overwhelm my guilty feeling for
getting a master degree as a biochemist but not using any bit of it

Nevertheless, I will never forget the great time I spent with my friends in the lab
and the opportunity given by my supervisor Dr. Cheng regardless
how bad my undergraduate results were that can actually disqualify me from joining Bio21.

ahem....my results were pretty good but there were so many much better results if compared to mine
Bio21 usually recruit students with most of the biochem subjects >80 marks
Most of my biochem subjects were <80
so....my supervisor was really good-hearted to let me in
But in the end i din upset him. I did well for my master! (said this proudly, HAHAHA)
Just that, i think i disappointed everyone in the lab for not continuing PhD
cuz i want to stay in Kuching
and PhD might not mean anything in Kuching for my situation

So, this year was not that good, but not that bad lah...
I just hope 2017 is getting better (everyone hope so)

Not sure should I say goodbye to my biochem
and focus fully on giving tuition?
I feel sad to say goodbye to biochemistry
I might still hold onto it until next year june-ish...maybe..sort of... I'm not sure
I know i might need to let it go completely but...
But I am just not ready yet.

Give me some more time before i kiss goodbye to my 'Biochemistry'
even though 2016 is ending soon.

Hope I can know clearly where i'm heading by next year...

Merry Christmas everyone~
Get ready for Chinese New Year.

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