I'm still kinda lost where to go

today received a call from IDP which i never expect they'll call.

reject or accept?

i've been letting them wait for my ans for nearly two months?around like that.

= =zzz


all was because NUS haven't reply me.


yes, NUS is my first choice.
thought for biological science, MElbourne has higher ranking than NUS.

but for all reasons i've considered, i'll still prefer NUS.

why i'm so stubborn?
Aus seems to be better than Singapore.
and the cert ....looks better than Asian's....

well....
Singapore is nearer to MAlaysia.
and it's like a sandwich. It's easier to go either west Malaysia or east Malaysia.
means, it's easier to go home or visit my friends.

and...it's cheaper.
as the rate......Singapore is lower. 2 plus. Aus got 3 plus. - -zzz
and it's much harder to get scholarship for Aus uni.

and i know Singapore better than Aus.
and Singapore speaks two languages instead of only English for Aus.

and the accent...............though we actually can get biasa with Aus English...
but the first year....i'll definitely suffer a lot more than it'll be in Singapore.

and...bully cases....yes...even u can avoid it in Malaysia.
but it'll be worse in Aus. and there....i'm alone.
Singapore i still got my siblings over there......Aus.....i'm just alone T_T.....

and the culture shock for sure....for the first year.

and my family can visit me more oftenly if i go Singapore.
if i go to Aus.....i guess me myself wont go home frequently.
might end up working there....studying hard like an insane.
and finish studying as fast as possible.

cuz my sis's fren complete her master just by one year plus.
she completed her courses by 2 to 3 years. which actual duration is around 4 to 5 years.
and now she's already working. and she's only 24. or 25. i'm not really sure.

still....she's young and she ALREADY COMPLETE HER MASTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


well.....maybe tat's harder for science subjects as there's more research and experiments need to be conducted. which makes the student harder to complete the course much earlier. even harder to student who wanna study Master for science subjects. cuz need to spend every minutes in the lab. and the outcomes are hard to be collected. esp bio-related experiments. cuz mostly related to living things and that consume a lot of time for the reactions to occur and complete. and hard to get success. cuz it's hard to control.

hmmmm....................but i'll try my best to complete the course as earlier as possible. IF i go to study at Aus.

haiz.

still cant decide.

i hope NUS can faster give me an answer.

now i'm kinda wanna dare myself to just go to MElbourne without caring bout NUS.

but those things that i considered make me hesitate......

T_T and IELTS too.......
though it's about the same as MUET....
but i'm REALLY not a good student with GOOD English.
my standard is ok ok nia.
i speak simple English with lots of grammatical mistakes.

and i WORKED VERY HARD tat i only can get low band 5 for MUET.

Melbourne requires me to get higher than band 6.5

= =zzzz just one band higher...yes....just one band higher....

just one band HIGHER UR HEAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

been so long time din study my English , my English is now SUCKS!
i forgot all the vocab i learnt...and i din learn much.- -zzz

and my pronounciation has becoming very weird...........my tongue tangled.

if i din practise my English again.....i'll only get band 4 for MUET......

which is much further from the aim i shud reach for IELTS....

yeah....my aunt say...though u din reach the target...they'll still let u in just bcause they wan money. = =zzz
but can reach the target is safer.

and wad if they really wan me to reach the target?
= =zzz and it's not cheap to sit for the test.
if i fail....i nid to spend another RM 500 plus for the test again.








haiz...............................i'm lost.
i nid to prepare myself before i go a place to do sth.
now i dunno where i'm heading to.
just because NUS haven't give me a reply.

Singapore? Australia? MAlaysia?

there was time i imagine myself at Singapore.

then i changed to wad if i stay in Malaysia? one thing i can think of is i dun nid to pay that much for fees.

now i'm preparing myself to Australia. but still leave some space for Singapore.
and even Malaysia.

i'm tired.
though i din work.

i'm mentally busy.
this is more tiring.

STOP HARASSING ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

= =".......give me an ans pls~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ as soon as possible!!!!!!!

Time to go University

= =zzzz

After get my result.....
next question : Where to go???


apply this and that....
haiz....tired man!

lagi mafan de is the UPU ppl dun hiu me. let my problem unsolved for more than one month!!!

damn !

luckily during that time Pilihan Raya sedang dijalankan.
or else, i won't get any help to solve my problem.
a simple problem that can be solved just by  a few minutes.
they made me waited for more than one month.
= =zzz

but still....
i aim for Singapore.
NUS.
and i only apply for this. no NTU.
My parents said me stupid just to apply for NUS....

- -zzz i feel insecure bout NTU mah~~~~ i dunno why also.


then follow friend to apply for Australia.
applied for Sydney and Melbourne.

and....
i was accepted.
now just wait me sit for IELTS and everything can be done and i can fly to there.

the problem is.........
it's far.
it's expensive.
my English isn't that good. i'll get bullied for sure.
and IELTS is expensive. RM 550 for once.
if i fail to achieve the minimum requirement (6.5 and above) to enter Uni of Melbourne & Sydney
i need to pay another RM 550.
and i tried very hard that i just can get a low band 5 for MUET.
IELTS????? = =zzzzz

of course i'll go for Melbourne if i fail to enter NUS.

the problem now is.......
Singapore still haven't reply me.
I don't know whether i'm accepted or rejected.

I wish to know earlier so that i can let IDP (agent that helps me to apply for Australia uni) knows
whether i want to accept the offer or reject the offer.

and IDP has been waiting for me for...i think one month already or more than that.

haiz....

everyone expect me leaving Malaysia.
including myself.

but what if....
I fail to enter NUS. and i missed the chance to accept the offer from Uni of Melbourne?
= =zzz i'll stay here...........................................................

well....the advantage is....
it's much cheaper.
but i cant learn much here.

i'm afraid of strangers and places i've never been.
and i'll definitely get home sick.
who doesn't?
but i should consider what i can learn instead of those things.

in my opinion,
we need to learn more than we can.
those small cases (esp ur feeling....like dun feel like leaving ur home town, apart from your friends, etc)
should be ignored.
cuz tat's a kind of training.

we need to grow.
we need to overcome our fear.
so accept the challenge.

now i'm prepared for the challenges.
but somehow..........................................................
macam NUS doesn't want to accept me = =zzz
(because my fren kena interview for ASEAN undergraduate scholarship and i din. which sounds like i wont get the scholarship. there's higher possibility that i'm not chosen for NUS and i want that scholarship. though when compare with my fren who get the interview, i dun seems like i need it. BUT I DO NEED IT!!!!!!= =zzz i dun wan to spend so much of my parents' money. it's still very expensive to study in Singapore even though it's cheaper than Australia.and they said tuition fees for international students in Singapore increases for about 60%....tat's horrible.)

maybe i think too much.

pray hard.

do bless me.
don't curse me.

= =zzz i work so hard for f6 just to aim higher.
i dun wan to waste all my hard work just to stay in Malaysia.
cuz.............it's really.............................................................
i dunno. if u dun understand, ask more......esp uni students. they will tell u a lot!!!!!!!!!!!!

why i know????
i GOT A LOT OF UNI FRENS!!!!! from different places in Malaysia.
not only Swinburne friends.
tat's still ok.
i mean Local Uni.

ahem......go ask them.

for me.....most of the brilliant one...
cuz staying here...no money go outside......
they've graduate as not the excellent one.
they can be excellent among Malaysian students.
but.......haiz.....
u know i know lah....T_T


but i've been prepared for the worst.
if i stay in Malaysia.
i wont let myself just like that.
i'll try my best to study more than what lecturer can teach.
i'll try to learn more than what i can learn.
then.....i'll try hard to get any chance to go outside (As sometimes ppl from outside like Japan or Korea will invite Malaysian students to go over their country to attend some programs.)
and...............! I AM SURE PLANNING TO STUDY MASTER / PhD OVERSEAS!!!!!
i wont end myself as a degree holder.


so....do bless me.
thank you. bless me, bless yourself too. =)